My second dad

When I moved from the west end of Toronto to the east end, and had to change schools I was mortified. I was clearly an outsider. My new school was relatively white, and not too many immigrants had settled in that area at the time. It was not a fun transition.

About 2 weeks after my move, we got a new English teacher. He wasnt new, but had been away because he had had cancer and came back after his treatment. His name was Phillip. Thanks to him, I would learn to love my new school and find the father figure I never had.

Now that I am teaching myself, I can imagine how hard it was for him standing there in front of a whole roomfull of teenagers who all knew he had just escaped death, but he was cool and confident and even funny. He read my name off the attendance sheet and I said "Just call me Kathy" I was trying very hard not to stick out. His answer to that was "I will not! Kathy is an ordinary name and you are anything but ordinary". After that, Katrin it was!

The 2 things Phillip introduced me to over the years that have made an enormous difference in my life were acting (He was also the drama teacher), which brought me out of my shell and taught me that I could do anything if I set my mind to it, and coffee! Chocolate pudding comes in third.

He had a nickname for me "the Oranary Armenian" and often told me I had the "Sherman tank approach". But he also made me realize that those things didnt have to be negatives all the time, and in fact there are times when my "Sherman Tank Approach" serves me well in Korea.

On Friday September 17th I got an email from his friend that his chemo had failed and the 4th bout of cancer he was fighting had spread to his nervous system, his brain and his spine. That if I wanted to see him, I had better hurry. I was in Toronto 25 hours after reading this email.

I saw him twice. The first time he acknowledged the "Oranary Armenaian" and asked about my boyfriend Chris. He knew it was me. The second time he was sleepy but I think he knewI was there. He said "You have come such a long way" and I said "I love you so I came" and he squeezed my hand. I took him chocolate pudding and ice cream and he enjoyed a bowlfull.

He passed away in his sleep Monday night at 10pm.

Oddly enough the night before getting this news I started watching "Dead Poets Society" with my advanced class. I mentioned that I had had a teacher like that and he was very ill. My students were very sympathetic and saw that I felt a lot for this man. I think they understand why I am here.

Were it not for Phillip, I dont think I would have realized my potential in many ways. I think what many teachers dont realise is that their job isnt just teaching, but helping children to know themselves. I was lucky to have met one teachers who knew that and was able to do it. I was also lucky to have met him at a time in my life when I needed that and could make good use of that kind of support. I just wish I had had more time with him.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004 STANBURY, Philip, (b. 1941) Died peacefully on September 27, 2004, ending his 20year struggle with Lymphoma. Dearly loved son of Cecil(d. 1952) and Bernice Crocks. Brother of Gary (Jill),Brian and Gerald Parker. Father of Jennifer (StacyNichols) and Alison Thompson (Kevin Powers).Grandfather of Samuel Nichols. Partner of MiguelHurtado. Philip was well loved by his many English andTheater students from his 30 year teaching career. He will be deeply missed by his family, his many friendsand by his students. The family will receive friends at the CHURCH OF THE REDEEMER, 160 Bloor Street West,Toronto M5S 1M4 on Thursday, September 30, 2004 from6-9 p.m. A service will be held on Friday, October 1stat one o'clock. A student award is being establishedin Philip's name at Woodsworth College, U of T, 119St. George Street, Toronto M5S 1A9. Arrangementsentrusted to HUMPHREY FUNERAL HOME - A.W. MILESCHAPEL, 416-487-4523.